Caillou Traps Some Nintendo Characters
by TeeShirt
Summary: That dang Caillou kid has done it again! He's plotted out his latest scheme: to trap everyone, Nintendo characters and Square-Enix characters included, inside of Chuck E. Cheese's! Only this time, he's got Dora and a [REDACTED] gun. Based off of the GoAnimate Caillou Gets Grounded videos. ENJOY.
1. An Unexpected Meeting

Shulk and Cloud Strife were busy playing _Bloodborne_ on the Playstation 4 in the living room of the Nintendo mansion when Ness, Lucas, Vinnie the Villager and Kirby walked in and stood right in front of the television. Cloud tried his best to concentrate on the game but sadly lost to Shulk who shouted "YEAH!" and danced on the sofa.

"What do you kids want?" Cloud rudely asked to the four kids. "Shulk and I are trying to play Bloodborne here!"

"Take us to Chuck E. Cheese's!" Ness demanded.

"Please." Lucas politely added.

"Um what?" Shulk confusedly muttered.

"Hell no!" Cloud angrily told the kids, gesturing them to leave as if they were dogs. "Get Mario and Link to take you guys!"

"They aren't here though!" Ness explained. "We've been looking around for them in the Nintendo Mansion all afternoon!"

"And we can't find them." Lucas added.

"So we went to you guys…" Vinnie the Villager continued. "…and you're the only people we know who can drive!"

"Yeah!" Kirby cooed.

"And that means you must take us to Chuck E. Cheese's!" Ness concluded their elaborate explaination. However Cloud shook his head and continued on with the video game.

"Uh, how about no?" Cloud suggested, tilting his head.

"YOU CAN'T TELL US NO!" Ness argued. "I'm going to Master Hand's office right now!"

Cloud pulled out his buster sword, which was conveniently right behind the sofa. Shulk gasped as he watched the young swordsman point the weapon directly in front of Ness's face. Ness gave a look of fear, along with the other kids.

"Um Cloud, you might not want to be so violent." Shulk warned to his new comrade.

"And exactly why? These dang kids are acting like spoiled brats!" Cloud complained. "I swear, this mansion better not be like home!"

"Well…uh, Master Hand has warned the other third parties that he may try to put you folks in the next installment of _PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale_ if you abuse any fighter in any particular way. Like what you are doing right now!" Shulk warned, shuddering at the thought of his third party friends not being at the mansion all because of violence, who already went through enough shit in their own games. Especially Cloud, who barely moved in. Last week as a matter of fact, before Master Hand's New Year, New Mii party.

"And you are probably going to be moved back to your place!" Shulk noted yet again.

Cloud shuttered at what his new friend had said and realizes that he doesn't want to join _PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale_ nor move back to the Square Enix mansion to be annoyed by the other RPG characters (like Sora, Noctis Lucis Caelum, Sephiroth and Lightning for example) and get in trouble by Tetsuya Nomura as always. Cloud sighed and put his sword back behind the sofa. Ness exhaled as the other kids finally relaxed, pleased that they were not going to die.

"Oh fine then!" Cloud said in a huff, folding his arms. "We'll take you kids."

Ness, Lucas, Kirby, and the Vinnie the Villager cheered happily.

"Let's get in the Range Rover and go to Chuck E. Cheese's then!" Shulk cheerfully said.

The gang left the living room, headed down the elevator to the expansive garage, and hopped into the Black Range Rover and drove to Chuck E. Cheese's. Minutes later, they made it to the fine pizza establishment and made their way inside. As they were admitted and sat at their own table, Shulk immediately noticed a familiar figure making their way to the table. It happened to be none other than…

"Elma!" Shulk shouted, waving to Elma, Colonel from the BLADE Organization. "What are you doing here?"

Elma came up to Shulk's table along with Lucina, who tagged along with her.

"Hi Shulk" She greeted to Shulk and then turning to the others. "…and Shulk's comrades." She then turned back to Shulk. "Lucina and I were invited by Mario and Link for lunch here."

Cloud spat out his Diet Sprite, looking annoyed to everyone else. He kept silent despite the fact that the kids were snickering to themselves. Lucina then noticed the two making their way over to them. Mario and Link showed up together at the table. Link was distinctively dressed in his Wii U attire.

"Hiya everyone!" Mario joyfully greeted.

"Didn't know you guys invited Cloud, Shulk, and the kids!" Link pointed out, noticing Shulk, Cloud, and the kids. "Speaking of which, where are the friends who invited us?"

"I wonder where they could be…" Mario wondered, looking around the dining hall.

"Wait, you got invited by someone else?" Lucina asked, taking a seat next to Cloud.

"Yeah." Link said. "Mario and I got invited by a few executives for an advertising deal…I wonder where they are."

Before everyone else could settle down at the table where Shulk and Cloud, the lights went off in the entire establishment.

"Holy shit!" Shulk screamed, which triggered many children in the play area to start crying. He felt a pinch on his shoulder. "Yow!"

"Shulk!" Cloud whispered-screamed. "You're scaring the–"

"WELL WELL WELL! LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOT THE WHOLE GANG!" A menacing boy voice screeched.

"I KNOW! NOW, LET'S GET ON WITH IT!" An evil girl hissed.

The looming voices then made the entire gang shutter in fright, including Cloud himself who heard the children's cries beginning to vanish.

All thanks to ten loud gun shots.


	2. The Angels Have Arrived!

_Hours later, back at the Nintendo Mansion…_

Dark Pit entered the living room of the mansion with his iPhone 6S in hand, immediately seeing Pit on the sofa watching reruns of _America's Next Top Model._

"Woo-hoo! You go Tyra Banks!" Pit cheered in glee, clapping to himself.

"Hey Pit-stain!" Dark Pit called out, making Pit turn around to look at him.

"What is it Pittoo?" Pit asked, wondering what his brother needed right now.

"Do you want to come with me to Chuck E. Cheese's?" Dark Pit kindly asked.

Pit looked to his Apple Watch which read the time to be 8:23 and looked back to his twin brother.

"But it's past eight already!" Pit told his sibling. "Isn't Chuck E. Cheese's closed at that time?"

Dark Pit then handed over his iPhone, showing the hours of operation at the nearby Chuck E. Cheese in Smashville, New York.

"Actually, it isn't today." Dark Pit revealed, which made Pit smile in glee.

"Okay! Let's get going!" Pit gleefully stated. The two teleported their way to the restaurant using their inherited god slash angel powers from Lady Palutena and their absent father Icarus.

"Here we are! Chuck E. Cheese's!" Pit cheered, as he and his twin made their way inside of the restaurant. Instantly, Pit spotted Shulk hiding behind the waiter's podium.

"Oh Shulk!" Pit greeted the figure. "What's up? Why are you hiding behind the podium?"

As Pit got a closer look at Shulk, he noticed that he wasn't his normal upbeat self, rather he looked quite frightened.

"Oh thank god you guys are here!" Shulk worryingly said, asking the angels to come closer.

"Say…what's the matter Shulk?" Pit said with pure concern.

"I'm being held hostage by Caillou and his girlfriend Dora the Explorer! He killed all of the other restaurant goers and he is holding all of our friends in the other rooms!" Shulk admitted, shaking as he began to cry.

"Boy, did we pick the wrong day to be here." Dark Pit muttered.

"Pittoo!" Pit said, hearing his sibling's mutter. "We have to help our friends before they get eaten by two cannibalistic children who star in two of the most shittiest television shows."

"Alright. I'll help." Dark Pit stated.

"And I obviously will!" Pit stated. "Now Shulk, is there anyone else here?"

"Yes." Shulk answered, wiping his tears away. "The kids and Mario are trapped in the kitchen and Caillou is planning to cook them! I'm not sure where Elma and Lucina are, but I know Cloud Link are trapped or rather, locked inside of the theater room."

"Okay. We just need to figure out how to get them all out. But first, how about we find Elma and Lucina? Where should we look?" Pit stated, giving out the first step of **Operation: Get The Fuck Out of Chuck E. Cheese's.**

"How about the arcade?" Dark Pit suggested as the first area to search for the girls.

"Sure." Shulk whispered. "Let's be careful; who knows if that kid prepared booby traps."

"Whatever." Dark Pit stated as he walked straight to the game area. Shulk and Pit soon followed. Carefully examining every tight and empty space between each machine, the guys kept their attention to whatever shoes or figures they can make out. Shulk easily made out a pair of navy boots hidden behind the red curtain of the Jurassic Park arcade machine. Opening the curtain, he had found Lucina who turned and gasped, ushering Shulk to silently hide inside of the machine. She pulled the curtain back to keep them hidden from Caillou or Dora.

"Oh thank the gods." Lucina whispered-exclaimed. "Shulk, where are the others?"

"I heard Mario and the kids are in the kitchen. I don't know what happened to Cloud, Link, or Elma." Shulk whispered to her, then gently taking her hand to leave the arcade as he pulled the curtain back. The two quietly left the machine, with Shulk quickly wording out about the unexpected visitors. "Unexpectedly, I saw Pit and Dark Pit enter here. They're looking for Elma as we speak."

"Look." Lucina whispered, pointing to the three figures, which happened to be Dark Pit, Pit, and Elma who had unlocked herself from the Ticket Blaster machine. "They found Elma." She softly dashed over to them. "Come on!" She whispered-screamed.

Shulk made his way to the others who quickly reacquainted with one another.

"Oh thank goodness! Elma, you are safe!" Shulk said, coming up to Elma.

"Now we just need to figure out which room Link and Cloud are in and free Mario and the others." Pit said, detailing the rest of the plan.

"Perhaps Elma and I can look for Link and Cloud. We'll leave the rest of you to enter the kitchen." Lucina suggested to the others.

"Sounds good." Shulk said.

"And we can get out of this **stupid** place!"

 **"THIS PLACE IS NOT STUPID! AS A MATTER OF FACT, ELMA, YOU ARE FUCKING STUPID AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED FOR BEING GAY AND LIKING IRINA, YOU ARE THE WORST RPG PROTAGONIST IN ALL OF VIDEO GAME HISTORY!"**

"What the fuck?!" Dark Pit, Pit, and Shulk yell, recognizing the voice of the intercom. It was that girlfriend of Caillou's: Dora the Explorer!

Elma began to tear up hearing the cruel critique given over the intercom and she quickly dashed away from the others.

"Elma! Wait!" Lucina shouted, chasing right after her.

"Lucina! Elma!" Shulk warned, taking a few dashes forward.

 **"NOT SO FUCKING FAST YOU SLUTS!"**

Shulk and the angels turned around to find themselves facing the familiar bald-headed boy Caillou, who aimed at them with a long M4 assault rifle.

"Caillou!" Pit hissed, summoning Palutena's Bow and splitting them into swords. "Why are you doing this?!"

"What the fuck is your problem?" Dark Pit blurted out, summoning his Dark Pit Staff and aiming it in front of Caillou's face.

"And why the fuck did you call us sluts?!" Shulk griped in pure anger. "I swear go to the damn Square-Enix mansion and have a look–"

"SHULK!" The angels shouted, gaining Shulk's attention to focus and attack.

"Oh yeah." Shulk said, focusing on Caillou. He tried to grab his Monado but then he realized…

"Oh crap." Shulk muttered in fright. "My Monado is in the shop…"

"MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Caillou laughed, pointing his weapon in front of Shulk. "Well, well, well Shulk. Looks like you're the first to die. Metal Face and Za–"

"SHUT UP! DON'T YOU DARE SPOIL XENOBLADE CHRONICLES TO THE READERS!" Shulk screeched as he went and kicked Caillou in the crotch.

"AHHH! WHAT THE FUCK?!" Caillou screamed, dropping his rifle, which Shulk picked up and aimed to him. Before he could even lay his forefinger on the trigger, he felt a hard hit on his head. Before the blonde figured it out, he passed out in front of the angels.

"SHULK!" Pit and Dark Pit yelled. The two angels felt the same sensation and collapsed together.

Three unconscious bodies, being dragged behind a fifteen inch screen….


	3. Look who's here!

_Inside of the supposed, locked Chuck E. Cheese Theater Room, which had a chair underneath the doorknob…_

"So Cloud…" Link calmly asked the mercenary who reclined in the red theater chair. "What imaginary choice would you make to get us the fuck out of here? With everyone as well?"

Cloud sat up and looked at his fingernails, not giving a glance to Link.

"Link, you know I'm never the one to make anything 'imaginative' when it comes to being in a hostage situation. Being a part of AVALANCHE makes everything into a serious, life decision." Cloud told to Link, then looking to him, particularly at his short ponytail. His new attire was quite strange. Probably because it wasn't the color green.

"Hmmm…." Link contemplated on Cloud's opinion. Although Cloud remained reserved, he was no stranger to expressing his own thoughts. Even if he had to be harsh and critical which Link felt hurt deep inside for some reason. Maybe Chuck E. Cheese's was making him feel like a pussy. He wouldn't feel this scared like a five year old who will likely be dead in a few hours if Caillou chooses to enter the room with his silver rifle.

"Though, I have one choice I can make now." Cloud admitted to Link.

"And what's that?" Link worryingly asks, looking to Cloud's cute angled face.

"To call…the Square-Enix mansion." Cloud sighed, then reaching out from his pant pocket his black iPhone 6S.

"Oh." was all that Link said, knowing Cloud's previous description of his former manor life or rather, his whiny opinions on how he has to handle his brethren and game-related companions.

Cloud tapped a number on his smartphone, which instantly speed-dialed the Square-Enix mansion. The line picked up successfully much to Cloud's dismay.

"Hello?" A rough voice answered.

"Barret?" Cloud replied.

"Oh hey Cloud!" Barret answered. "What's up?"

"Listen Barret, me and my Smash buddies–we need help!" Cloud desperately pleaded to his boss. "Some bastard from a dumb cancelled PBS show has us hostage in Chuck E. Cheese!"

"What the actual fuck – I'm going to guess…is it that damn Caillou?" Barrett yelled in complete shock.

"Yes!"

"Oh my lord…we ran into trouble with that little bastard last week. The Square-Enix mansion ended up with an accidental gas leak because he snuck into our place!"

"Wait, is that why you guys were at the Hamptons house last week?" Cloud mentioned, remembering that last week he saw a Instagram post of the entire mansion residents at the Hampton residence which was the first week of January.

"Yep. Don't worry though – we're on the way!" Barret said.

"Oh thank god! I'm stuck in the theater room by the way – with Link! Hurry!" Cloud pleaded, then hanging the phone up.

"Thank the goddesses – we're being rescued by my AVALANCHE fellows!" Cloud exhaled as he hugged Link, extremely glad that his real colleague from his game were coming to rescue him and the other fighters.

 **But they weren't coming.**

Instead, it was the other Final Fantasy characters coming for him–along with Sora and Riku from Kingdom Hearts– as they were hoping to eat a midnight snack at Wendy's, conveniently at said time.

"So we're getting pizza instead Barret?" Sora asked to Barret who was riding shotgun as the gang were inside of a White Lexus LX, which was being driven by Sephiroth.

"Not really. We've got to save Cloud." Barret said to Sora's disappointment.

"Uugghhh." Sephiroth loudly moaned. "Do we have to? The mansion's better without him!"

"Drive the car over to Chuck E. Cheese's or you're grounded!" Barret said, pointing his gun-arm directly at Sephiroth, who cautiously drove them all to Chuck E. Cheese's, while parking the Lexus in a handicapped spot considering it was after-hours for the lone surrounding retail shops and the supposed closed pizza place itself.

"Yay! 'Da Club!" Sora cheered, hopping out of the Lexus. Lightning followed Sora even though she kept busy on her Samsung Galaxy S6 Edge while Noctis hopped out and stretched.

"While you guys free 'Blondie', I'll be at the salad bar." Noctis mentioned, patting his stomach.

"Oh no you aren't!" Squall Leonhart said, pulling Noctis's shirt collar. "'Rich Boy', you're going to be helping us find Cloud."

"I just freakin' wanted Wendy's! Why in the world did he have to get in trouble? Especially with the Smash fighters?" Noctis complained, folding his arms, jealous and 'salty' that he wasn't in Super Smash Bros. or maybe because his game is never going to come out!

"It wasn't him; it's that damn Caillou kid again." Sephiroth explained to Noctis. "Don't you remember what happened last week?"

"Well yeah, but it's not my problem." Noctis stated, rolling his eyes.

"Anyways, we've got to rescue him or Nomura will kick all of our asses." Lightning stated, hinting their director's mean punishments.

"Okay fine. Let's make this quick." Noctis noted, as he easily opened the front entrance, which Caillou forgot to actually lock!

"TIDUS IS READY FOR SOME TITTIES!" Tidus screamed as he entered Chuck E. Cheese's.

"What the fuck Tidus?" Noctis yelped, shocked by the teenager's random introduction as he made his way in. Normally his upbeat attitude didn't spur random moments nor the mispronunciation of his first name. Perhaps it was the aura of a GoAnimate video and deviantArt in the air…

"I want to see some titties!" Sora said in pure glee, shoving Noctis out of the way as he followed Tidus,

"Me too!" Riku said rubbing his hands together as he walked behind them.

"Oh my lord, this is fucking Chuck E. Cheese's, not a strip club!" Squall reminded the three who desperately wanted some boob action at a restaurant catering to five year olds, who decided to chase after them.

"You see this is why we need 'breastinism'." Lightning complained, putting her phone back inside of her coat pocket, shaking her head at the others. "If you need me, I'll be up at the ball pit." She then told to Barrett and Sephiroth, giving her strategy as she climbed the colorful fun play area.

"We'll be in the theater room then." Barrett and Sephiroth agreed, making their way to the theater.

Noctis, left alone, decided to head inside of the kitchen of 'Da Club'. There, he gasped as he saw Ness, Lucas, Kirby, Vinnie the Villager, and Mario tied up together with colored rope, sitting inside of a large crockpot, which surprisingly fit the four of them.

"Oh spaghetti and meatballs!" Vinnie cried, seeing Noctis. "Hero that looks like Dark Pit – help!"

"I don't know who the hell 'Dark Pit' is, but I'm helping you guys!" Noctis stated, coming up to the large crockpot. Noctis then takes out a pocket knife from his pocket and cuts the rope which easily frees the four of them. They then climb out of the crockpot and surround Noctis.

"Oh thank you whoever you are!" Ness thanked.

"Yeah thanks man!" Lucas said in joy, shaking Noctis's right hand.

"Thank you!" Kirby sobbed.

"Now we won't be eaten by Caillou and Dora!" Mario said in relief.

"Wait–they were going to eat you guys?" Noctis said in pure shock. "That's fucking cannibalism!"

"I know!" Vinnie cheered. "But we're free!"

"That's it–I'm calling the cops. These damn kids need to know the law." Noctis stated, dialing 911. "Now let's go to the salad bar!" Noctis gestured the four to leave the kitchen and returned to the salad bar inside of the dining hall of Chuck E. Cheese's.


	4. The Prize Counter (and some gross junk)

_Meanwhile at the prize area…_

"Aww sweet!" Sora said, hopping behind the prize counter.

"Prizes!" Riku yelled as he followed Sora.

"Wow. Never had I thought we would all be in a Chuck E. Cheese by ourselves." Tidus said to himself as he watched Sora and Riku open the prize cabinet with a bobby pin. Sora and Riku then stuffed their pockets with some of the numerous cheap prizes. Little did they know that Squall happened to be right behind them. Sora gasped as he met eyes with him.

"How in the world did you two unlock this thing?" Squall curiously asked, then looked around. "Ah whatever, I want some fucking candy."

Sora smiled and allowed Squall to open the other prize cabinet, in which he stole all of the damn candy. As for Tidus, he began to sniff a gruesome odor coming from the other area.

"Eugh," Tidus spat out in disgust. "Who let one out?"

"It wasn't me." Sora stated, hands up in the air.

"You probably are just smelling the vile aroma of two year olds." Squall told to Tidus as he opened a package of sour gummy rainbow belts.

"No way." Tidus said, shaking his head. "It's way gross! Almost like a–"

"SATAN FUCKING JUDAS!"

The three turned around to see that Riku had opened the supply closet next to the prize area and what had fell right in front of him was none other than a corpse of a ten year old boy.

"YOU GUYS HELP ME!" Riku panicked, struggling to move the limp body off of him. "THIS DEAD GUY JUST FELL ON ME!"

"You think we should have told Riku not to have opened the supply closet?" Sora asked, reaching for one of Squall's rainbow candy in which he pulled the package away.

"Regardless, he would have disobeyed anyway." Squall told to Sora. "But I don't think that's the only corpse around here…"

"Take a look!" Tidus said, waving to the others as he stood in the arcade area. "I found some grownup corpses and a…HOLY SHIIIIT!"

"And I was fucking right." Squall said as he gave the package of rainbow belts to Sora. "I'm going to call the cops and Sora, if you fucking eat my candy–"

"UM CAN ONE OF YOU GUYS HELP ME UP?!"


	5. Meanwhile at the mansion

_Late night at the Nintendo Mansion…_

Dickson, greatly known by the mansion as Shulk's main guardian slash father figure, was finalizing the check-in times for all of the vehicles in the mansion's garage. Although it was almost one a.m., Dickson rechecked the garage one more time, curious if one of the vehicles was missing. Or rather, three vehicles.

"Bowser already checked in that mother of a soccer van, Tingle brought in his hot air balloon, Lao parked in his Skell, Bayonetta checked in her Aston-Martin, all I'm missing is the Range Rover, the Mercedes-Benz, and the newest 2017 Camaro." Dickson mumbled, as he finally sat back down in his office chair inside of the renting/lounge area of the garage. The large window gave quite a view of the numerous vehicles which allowed Dickson to easily check for the missing cars not turned in. Dickson sighed and scooted his chair to the desk. He quickly logged onto the iMac and as he rested his cigar on his ash tray, he scrolled through the main list of the garage database in which it quickly pulled up the rented vehicles and which characters rented them.

"Okay, Mario went off in the Mercedes at 1:30 p.m., Elma soon followed off in the Camaro at 1:55 p.m., and Shulk soon followed in the Range Rover at 2:15 p.m." Dickson listed out. He soon picked up his iPhone 6S near the keyboard and texted to Shulk:

 **SHULK, THIS IS DICKSON NOTIFYING THAT YOU BRING THE RANGE ROVER IMMEDIATELY AND GET YOUR ASS BACK INTO THE MANSION. IF YOU KNOW WHERE MARIO AND ELMA IS, TELL THEM THEY ARE GETTING AN ASS WHOOPING FROM MASTER HAND IF THEY DON'T MAKE IT BACK TO THE MANSION.**

As soon as the text was sent to his not-blood related son, Dickson then received a notification from the iMac notifying a coming visitor from Garage Door #3.

"Ugh finally…" Dickson muttered, opening the garage door. As he looked from the window, he began to notice that the car parking inside of the garage was neither of the missing vehicles. Rather, the car coming in happened to be…

"A GUMMI SHIP?!" Dickson shouted, leaping off of his chair and storming out of the lounge area to the parked vehicle. Leaping out of the Gummi Ship of course happened to be another famed engineer.

"Dickson! Satan fucking Judas, have you seen them?" Cid asked, coming up to Dickson.

"Seen what?" Dickson asked. "A Chocobo, obese Moogle, and Zack Fair? Cloud's not here if that's who you are searching for."

"Actually, I'm looking for a White Lexus LX and these fellows." Cid told to Dickson, then pulling out a wallet consisting of pictures that resembled Barret, Sephiroth, Noctis, Lightning, Squall, TIdus, Sora, and Riku – which happened to be their in-game portraits.

"Hmm, I haven't seen those fellows here in my garage. Not even the car too. Cloud hasn't been here all day." Dickson recalled to Cid who nodded.

"Do you have any idea where Cloud went off to then?" Cid asked.

"Well, he went off with my boy Shulk and the kids earlier…" Dickson recalled, triggering a flashback moment.

 _Dickson immediately noticed Shulk and Cloud Strife standing at the front window of the garage checkpoint area and came towards them. He remembers his quick glance – Shulk donned his usual attire minus the Monado which was in the Weaponry department of the mansion for repairs all because Riki and Tatsu wanted to see if it could blend and deep fry – Cloud Strife was a new face for Dickson, the anorexic young adult donned purple and black clothing, stupid blonde gorgeous anime hair, and carried a long sword right behind him. Although Dickson did wonder how his puny arms could carry such a long sword – all he know was he had another Wikipedia article to scan through._

 _"Oi Shulk and Cloud!" Dickson greeted. "Where are you boys heading today?"_

 _"We have to take the damn kids to Chuck E. Cheese." Cloud complained, then turning to Shulk. "You see, if this were the Square-Enix–"_

 _"We'll be needing the Range Rover please Dickson." Shulk told to his guardian, speaking over Cloud's bragging. "And I already punished the little bastards."_

 _"Deleted all of their cartoon recordings on the DVR in the playroom?" Dickson assumed._

 _"Exactly. And I just incinerated their tickets from their last visit to Chuck E. Cheese." Shulk added._

 _"Atta-boy Shulk!" Dickson cheered, handing him the keys to the Range Rover. "Now y'all be safe!"_

 _"Thanks Dickson!" Shulk said, waving goodbye to his paternal figure as he and Cloud hopped inside of the Range Rover. The kids then hopped in, in which Dickson heard them complain about their 'misplaced' tickets._

"To Bloody Chuck E. Cheese's!" Dickson answered.

"Now, where in the fuck did my batch of kids go?" Cid wondered. Before he could ask Dickson one more time, he felt his smartphone rumble in his pocket. Reaching out for it, a notification from CNN popped on the screen, reading…

 **CNN NOW: HOSTAGE SITUTATION OCCURING AT CHUCK E. CHEESE RESTAURANT IN SMASHVILLE, NEW YORK. WATCH LIVE AT CNN GO.**

"Dickson." Cid said, handing his phone over to him. "You might want to see this…"


	6. The Girls

_Inside of the play area at Chuck E. Cheese's…_

Although the plastic tubes were quite a tight squeeze for a twenty one year old woman like Lightning, she carefully managed by crawling her way through the tall play structure of Chuck E. Cheese's, searching for any captive hostages the evil Caillou had inside, or rather made hidden in the play area. As Lightning crawled to a right green colored corner, she noticed a crying tan woman with a teenage girl wearing navy blue clothing, who comforted her hidden in a small bunk which overlooked the rest of the restaurant.

"Oh…" Elma whimpered.

"Elma, it will be alright." Lucina comforted the tan woman. "Besides, she's a criminal like El Chapo."

Elma looked to Lucina with a weird stare, her tears were now non-existent.

"Did you just use that awful, incorrect reference to cheer me up?" Elma sniffled.

"Uh…yeah." Lucina answered, darting her eyes to the red plastic tube pathway and another woman with pink pastel hair.

"Huh?" Lucina mumbled, then patting Elma on the back, pointing to Lightning. "Elma, there's another girl here!"

Elma looked to see Lightning, who looked at them and began to talk.

"Hello. Let me guess: a bald kid by the name of Caillou trapped you inside of this crappy restaurant?" Lightning asked.

"Yes." Lucina answered. "And it's not the first time he has been so fucking mean."

"He transformed the mall's Victoria Secret into a McDonald's, freed Anal from jail, called the janitor the toilet-man, and even sabotaged the pool in the Nintendo Mansion by replacing the water with Cherry Jell-O." Elma briefly explained to Lightning, who nodded.

"I understand. That little creep caused a gas leak in the Square-Enix mansion and me and my colleagues had to stay at our summer house in the Hamptons because of that." Lightning stated. "I heard he is also against women and he's planning to vote for Donald Trump."

"That's a coincidence." Lucina said. "His girlfriend Dora the Explorer ridiculed Elma earlier today and it caused her to breakdown and hide up here. I followed along so I wouldn't fall into her hands. She must be fucking stopped."

"A trigger." Lightning said. "Poor girl; she must be forced by Caillou to say these things. We must stop them from causing triggers to everyone else. And they need to be in juvenile detention for doing just that."

"How about we find their parents' phone numbers and call them? Surely they must be concerned that they doing something extremely violent." Elma stated, showing her iPhone 6 Plus to the others.

"That doesn't sound too bad." Lucina said.

"I just found their number!" Lightning exclaimed quietly, showing Caillou's father Boris's Tumblr page, which displayed punishment as his main aesthetic, on her Samsung Galaxy S6 Edge.

"And Dora's!" Elma cheered quietly.

"Let me do the talking." Lucina cackled, grabbing ahold of Lightning's phone and dialing Boris's number.

"Hello?" A young man greeted.

"Hi. Is this Boris?" Lucina asked.

"Why yes. And you are?"

"My name is Lucina and my friends and I are trapped by your son Caillou and his supposed partner Dora the Explorer at Chuck E. Cheese's."

"WHAT?! OH MY GOD, I FUCKING KNEW IT! DORIS! ROSIE! GET IN THE VAN! SOME WOMAN NAMED LUCINA KNOWS WHERE CAILLOU IS!"

"OH THANK GOODNESS!" Lucina overheard, hearing another women on Boris's line. "CAILLOU IS GOING TO BE GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED."

"Thank you Lucina." Boris thanked. "We're on our way to help you guys out!" Boris then hanged up the phone.

"Great. Now time to call Dora's." Lucina stated, dialing the number of Dora's parents.

"Hola?" A young woman answered.

"Cómo estás? Yo soy Lucina." Lucina greeted in Spanish. "Tú hablas ingles?"

"Yes, I do! I'm Elena. What are you calling for?"

"I am just wanting to let you know that your daughter Dora has me and my friends trapped at Chuck E. Cheese's."

"QUÉ? COLE, THEY FOUND DORA! VAMONOS! Ah, gracias Lucina! Me and my husband are on our way." Elena hanged up the phone.

The women then cheered quietly – the parents were on the way!


	7. The Theater Breakout

_Back at the theater room…_

Cloud and Link remained optimistic, knowing that AVALANCHE was coming any second to break them out of the locked theater room. It still reeked of popcorn butter and the odor of three year old children, which was obvious thanks to the ten bodies hiding underneath the back theater chairs. The two decided to make the time pass by watching GameXplain Analysis videos on YouTube from Cloud's iPhone.

"How the world can they see that at first glance?" Cloud asked, as he and Link were watching their famous twenty-two minute video examining Zelda Wii U footage, despite it being only a minute long. Link chuckled and shook his head.

"Boy, are they going to be surprised…" Link announced, knowing his game.

 **"Obviously."**

Hearing the unknown voice, Cloud and Link turned around to find that Barret had opened the door which was just simply moving the chair from under the doorknob and entering the theater room.

"Barret, thank god!" Cloud thanked. "It smells like dead people in here."

"I know. All of the children in the arcade area are dead. Didn't think the theater was the same." Barret said, noticing the bodies underneath the red chairs. "I'm never taking Marlene to this place again!"

"Hey Barret!" Another man shouted. Cloud gasped, knowing who it was.

"Wow. Sephiroth came with you guys?" Cloud asked. "Didn't think AVALANCHE would agree with that."

"Actually, Tifa and the others are back at the mansion." Barret explain, making Cloud open his mouth in surprise.

"Really?" Cloud said. "Then, who is with y'all guys?"

"CLOUD!"

Link turned to find at the door a teenage boy and a young adult who both had chocolate-brown hair, sparkling blue eyes, and gobbling up sour rainbow belts. Cloud was a bit shocked by the two.

"Sora! Squall!" Cloud called, coming up to them, then looking at the candy. "And you stole those."

"Exactly." Squall said, treating himself to another sour rainbow belt.

"Riku and I used the bobby pin method to break inside the prize counter." Sora said in glee.

"I have no idea how to praise them for stealing." Barret said. "Just don't tell Terra about this, okay?"

"We know." Sora and Squall said. Cloud simply sighed.

"Let's get out of this room!" Link exclaimed, rushing out of the room with everyone else in tow. He instantly met eyes with a tall man with long silver hair, who carried a long silver sword.

"Hello." The tall man greeted, giving a slick smile.

"Oh. Uh, hi!" Link said. "You must be Sephiroth right?"

"I am." Sephiroth stated, then looking at Link's outfit. "You are Link right? What's with the blue?"

"Umm…" Link mumbled, feeling a slight sweat from his forehead. "It's just a bit of wardrobe change."

"I see. Suits you quite well."

"Enough chit-chat!" Barrett interrupted. "We've got to check the area again to see who else is trapped."

Link startled and straightened up. Sephiroth wasn't really intimidating, rather he was–

"Link, you coming?" Cloud called.

"Yeah!" Link said, catching up with Cloud and the others.

Without them knowing, a mischievous kid evil laughed as he watched the security camera footage.


	8. The Hostage Situation

_Outside of Chuck E. Cheese's_

Considering that Squall and Noctis had previously called the cops and Lucina had called the parents of both Dora and Caillou, people were now surrounding the main entrance of the Chuck E. Cheese. Paramedics, local residents who lived around the shopping center, the local news stations, TMZ, CNN, were all active in trying to shoot any upcoming events of the hostage.

Cid and Dickson, who arrived in the Gummi Ship, were quite surprised to see everyone.

"Wow." Dickson said, taking his cigar out of his mouth. "What a hostage scene."

"I wonder who the fuck is holding our kids up." Cid said, then spotting out a familiar figure with a microphone in hand. "Heck, even the main reporter from the news is here!"

"She, Mrs. Montague, is a reporter for the local news Cid." Dickson told to his colleague, who went up to Ness's mother.

"Oh, Mr. Soss right?" Mrs. Montague asked, shaking Dickson's hand.

"Yes, Dickson Soss." He restated, then looking to Cid. "And this here, is a fan."

"Oh hello!" Mrs. Montague greeted. "And you must be…"

"Cid." Cid stated, then shaking her hand. "Main engineer at the Square-Enix manor."

"Oh my." Mrs. Montague said. "Then, you must know Cloud Strife."

"Yeah. He's with your kid in the Chuck E. Cheese!" Dickson blurted out, making Mrs. Montague alarmed, with her mouth right open.

"Wait. Ness is in there?! Oh my god!" Mrs. Montague panicked, then going straight towards the entrance.

"Excuse me ma'am!" An officer yelled, running behind her. "You need to step back behind the yellow line!" The officer pointed towards the yellow DO NOT CROSS tape which was attached to all of the shopping center.

"Sorry! My son is in there!" Mrs. Montague yelled, then knocking on the glass window and shouting. "NESS! NESS!"

And thus she continued. Before Cid and Dickson can come to pull her back from the site that may possibly attack her, they noticed two SUVs parking a few feet away. One set of parents exited each of the vehicles.

"OHHHHHHHHHH WHEN CAILLOU COMES OUT, HE'S GOING TO BE PUNISHED FOR THE REST OF HIS NATURAL BORN LIFE!" A father screamed, darting towards the entrance to the Chuck E. Cheese.

"Certainly!" His wife said, following him.

"DORA IS IN MUY MUY MUY BIG TROUBLE!" Another father shouted, wife holding his hand. They also followed along the other couple.

"Excuse me!" The same officer yelled to the two set of parents. "You guys and the woman need to stay across the yellow line." The officer pointed to the tape line again.

"My son Caillou is in there!" The father Boris stated,

"My daughter Dora is as well!" The mother Elena stated. "She and her trouble-making friend Caillou are holding people hostage for no good reason."

"We understand." The officer yelled. "Just please step back for the sake of your safety."

They ignored the officer's demand and kept banging the windows. Cid and Dickson, watching, then figured why not join the fun?

"SHULK! SHULK!" Dickson shouted. "CLOUD! NESS! LUCAS! VILLAGER! KIRBY!"

"BARRET! SEPHIROTH! SQUALL! LIGHTNING! NOCTIS! TIDUS! RIKU! SORA!" Cid screamed.

All of the adults kept with their screams despite the officers' pleads. Little did they know, that some more help was on the way.


	9. The Square-Enix Mansion

_Meanwhile at the Square-Enix mansion…_

Lightning's little sister Serah, Shantotto, Aerith Gainsborough, and Vaan were sitting in the entertainment room of the mansion binge-watching Steven Universe on the 4K television.

"Gee! I can't believe Yellow Diamond got called out like that!" Aerith said, shocked that Peridot yelled at her former commander.

"That bitch deserved it!" Vaan stated. "She wants to kill everyone on planet Earth!"

Shantotto turned to the entrance of the entertainment room and turned back to the television.

"Speaking of 'bitch'…where's Squall?" Vaan asked. "We were suppose to get Wendy's like–" Vaan then stopped himself to look at his Apple Watch. "An hour ago! It's already like two in the morning!"

"Wow! It's that late?" Serah said, looking at the time on the DVR. "I hope my strawberry frosty isn't melted. Tidus is probably having another eating contest with Sora again."

Before Shantotto could ask Serah to start the next episode, she heard clacking footsteps.

"Oh man!" Shantotto said. "Terra's coming!"

"Serah quick!" Aerith rushed as Serah got a hold of the remote and exited the DVR menu to access the normal channels, which happened to be CNN.

"Tell me why we have to change the TV when any cartoon is on again?" Vaan asked, folding his arms.

"Because she's mean and ridicules us for watching anything other than good cartoons." Serah easily putted out.

"Even the news for crying out loud!" Shantotto exclaimed.

"It's like she doesn't want us to have fun at all." Aerith sadly said, looking down.

"Hey! We can have fun!" Vaan joyful explained. "Just as long as she's not around. Besides – doesn't she hit the hay earlier than all of us?"

"Not today Vaan. It's Friday– well, Saturday morning already." Serah pointed out.

Terra Branford entered the entertainment room in her pink satin silk pajamas, red sheepskin slippers, and carried a large Moogle plush pillow. Before she can join the others on the large couch, she gasped loudly and dropped her precious Moogle pillow.

"SATAN FUCKING JUDAS! Is that the Gummi Ship?!"

"Hmm?" Serah said, noticing that Terra walked in, then looking back to the TV and watching what was happened. A hostage situation was happening at Smashville's Chuck E. Cheese and the Gummi Ship was parked along with many other vehicles – including the Lexus that Sephiroth drove off with the others.

 **"We have just got word from two local engineers and a local reported in Smashville that several famous video game characters from both the Nintendo and Square-Enix corporation have been reported to be inside of this very restaurant. Rumored characters have not been identified yet but some names have been revealed. Those are being Cloud Strife from the critically acclaimed Final Fantasy VII, Shulk Soss from the recent big RPG hit Xenoblade Chronicles, and Lightning i.e. Claire Farron from Final Fantasy XIII…we'll keep you updated on any other…"**

As the reporter kept continuing, Serah was shocked to find that Cloud and Lightning were both involved in a hostage situation.

"Oh shit, who could have done this to Cloud and Lightning?" Vaan said, shocked by the news.

"I bet those weird chicks living at the Shadow Temple have something to do with this." Aerith assumed, knowing of the famous tales of Cia, Lana, and Anal.

"More like sluts." Shantotto muttered, then looking to Terra. "Terra, what shall we do?"

Terra Branford was more than ready to kick someone's ass, aside from her Final Fantasy brethren.

"I know what I'm going to fucking do!" Terra said, folding her arms. "Summon all of our asses there and break in! As for our gang…they're going to be grounded grounded grounded!"

"Uh what for?" Serah asked. "They were just going to get food for us unless…"

"Cloud." Terra hissed, squinting at the picture CNN had of him on the television screen.

"Oh." Aerith realized. "He's living at the Nintendo mansion now."

"He probably got his ass handled again!" Terra complained. "And what's worse was that Lightning and Sephiroth are probably letting the boys misbehave there while innocent lives are at stake. We've got to go after them!"

"Don't you need a wardrobe change?" Vaan said, looking at Terra's pajamas.

"Oh shit, yeah." Terra realized. "I'll be back in five – you guys grab your weapons and put your shoes on!"

"We didn't even get to have Wendy's!" Shantotto complained. "Whoever did his 'hostage' thing to Cloud is getting their anal lit on fire!"

"Whoa." Vaan said, backing away. "We don't even know who the culprit is!"

CNN then displayed a picture of the obvious criminal: Caillou which the four easily caught thanks to 4K definition showing the shine on his bald head.

"I FUCKING KNEW IT!" Serah shouted, hopping off of the couch. "Let's get going you guys!"

"YEEAAHHH!" The four yelled in agreement.

 _ **"SERAH! VAAN! AERITH! TOTTO! I'M TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP!" Cosmos the Goddess of Harmony AKA the owner of the Square-Enix mansion alongside Chaos the God of Discord summoned-screeched to the four who immediately darted out of the entertainment room.**_


	10. We Found Them!

_Near the stage area with the animatronics…_

Sephiroth turned to the Nintendo characters that were easily freed and the other Square-Enix characters who saved them. Noctis, Tidus, Sora, Riku, and the Smash Kids were together consuming the stolen salad ingredients and desserts from the kitchen; Elma, Lucina, and Lightning were all browsing tumblr and pointing out cool, meme aesthetic posts; Mario, Cloud, Squall, Link, and Barret were looking to a self made restaurant map drawn in pepperonis and Smarties on what areas to look for the remaining missing people Caillou and Dora had trapped.

"We're obviously missing Shulk. Who knows what Caillou did with him." Link stated.

"Maybe he'sa planning to shave him bald!" Mario assumed.

"Or he may be dead!" Link said in fear. "I hear the bald kid has a fully loaded rifle and is ready to shoot."

"I doubt that." Elma said, coming up to the guys. "Not with Pit and his twin together, the angels can summon weapons."

"What?!" Mario gasped. "Pit and Dark Pit are here?! But how?"

"They found me and Elma at the game area hoping to save everyone else but Caillou got a hold of the three." Lucina confessed. "That's why Elma and I were trapped in the crappy plastic play area. We were hoping to escape the area to find them but then Lightning came to help us."

"Well, that explains it." Link said. "But just where could those three be? We've been all over the restaurant."

"I think I know where." Sephiroth said, holding a white angel feather. "I found this underneath the red curtain in front of those creepy animatronics…"

"Oh shit!" Mario exclaimed.

"It's fucking Five Night At Freddy's at this place!" Sora shouted, fearing the animatronics and the possibly of them being alive at two-thirty am.

"Wouldn't it be obvious to pull back the red curtain?" Squall asked, pointing to the curtain.

"Haven't tried that." Barret said, pulling the red curtain away.

Everyone was in awe that underneath the red curtain, it was a small backstage area. What made the gang even more shock was the fact that Shulk was tied against the Chuck E. Cheese animatronic, Pit was stuck inside of what looked like a prison cell, and Dark Pit was thumbtacked to a bulletin board by his clothes.

Pit, upset that he had failed to set everyone free from the evil franchise restaurant, sighed and made a small glance towards a tall figure who had long hair, a long sword, and an elaborate robe. He smiled, satisfied that someone was going to help the three out of the hell-hole of a backstage area.

"Oh joy!" Pit squealed, eyes sparkling when he saw the figure. "A beautiful maiden has come to save me!"

The figure immediately turned to Pit with an enraged stare.

"SATAN FUCKING JUDAS! I AM NOT A MAIDEN! I AM A MAN!" The figure screamed. Pit glanced at the figure's front chest then to his face.

"WAIT WHAT?!" Pit shouted, his face immediately becoming red from his assumption.

"Oh my lord!" Shulk muffled, seeing Pit being rescued. Being tied next to a rat animatronic wasn't as Fifty Shades of Pizza as it seemed.

"Oh lord." Dark Pit gasped. "Are you–"

The theme of the figure, which immediately played, was _One-Winged Angel._

 _ **Estuans interius**_

 _ **Ira veheminti**_

 _ **Estuans interius**_

 _ **Ira veheminti**_

 _ **SEPHIROTH**_

"OH SHIS-KABOBS!" Dark Pit blurted out, then screaming. "CUUUULLLLLLOOOOOOUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDDDD!"

"Um, I'm right here." Cloud waved awkwardly, rolling his eyes that Dark Pit was actually scared of–

 _ **SEPHIROTH**_

Dark Pit screamed yet again.

"Oh Pittoo. Quit being such a whiny baby." Pit complained, finally free after being stuck in baby jail as Barret unlocked the plastic door with a plastic key that was conveniently under a floor mat.

Shulk laughed-muffled, then back to normal as Link managed to untie him off of the rat animatronic. Pit's face was still red from finding out that Sephiroth was a man.

"But he looked pretty…" Pit said, looking at the floor.

"I know…" Link said, his cheeks still bright pink and sweat surrounding his forehead.

Much to Dark Pit's fright, Sephiroth was able to rescue the stuck dark angel by ripping out the plastic tacks and picking the angel up. Dark Pit shivered, hugging onto Sephiroth very tightly.

"Aww!" Pit cooed.

"Shut up!" Dark Pit hissed.

"Actually, this is too cute!" Squall and Cloud coddled, taking pictures of Dark Pit being carried by Sephiroth.

However, the cute moment did not last long. A gun was overheard, being loaded. Everyone turned around find both Caillou and Dora holding large rifles and aiming the weapon towards everyone.

 **"'** _ **Sup motherfuckers?"**_


	11. The Final Battle

Terra Branford, Aerith, Shantotto, Vaan, and Serah had finally made it to Chuck E. Cheese's. They easily passed the officers, who stopped dealing with the parents, and met up with the concerned parents along with Ness's mother, Dickson, and Cid at the front entrance of the restaurant.

"Yo Cid!" Vaan shouted, making Cid turn around.

"Vaan? The girls?" Cid said, looking at all of them. "What in the hell are you doing here?"

"We found out about Cloud and the others on TV." Aerith explained. "And we want to help."

"'Help' from me means they're all going to get grounded grounded grounded!" Terra added, opening the front entrance.

"WHAT?!" Cid shouted, watching Terra and the warriors enter the restaurant.

"Well, what do ya know? The door's been open this whole time!" Dickson said, ushering the parents to move along. "Let's all head in!"

"Alright!" Boris agreed. Everyone headed right inside.

The parents of Caillou and Dora, Cid, Dickson, along with Terra and her clan met up with Caillou starting his long confrontation speech to the shocked characters.

 **"WELL WELL WELL. WELL WELL WELL. WELL WELL–"**

"Would you fucking get on with it?!" Barret shouted, pointing his gun-arm in front of Caillou.

"Ugh, you grownups ruin the hype for everything." Caillou complained, rolling his eyes. "Anyways, you all should know why I am doing this to you guys."

"And the fucking RPG losers who weren't even suppose to be here!" Dora added. "Final Fantasy sucks!"

"You take that shit back!" Noctis hissed to Dora, summoning his silver royal sword. "Final Fantasy XV hasn't come out yet!"

"Please." Lightning said as she summoned her Blazefire Saber, rolling her eyes at Dora's comment. "You fans are all the same."

Caillou continued. "Dora and I trapped you all here for a very good reason and that was to–"

"Kill you and sabotage the Nintendo mansion." Dora exclaimed. "And take over the damn Square-Enix mansion since these lame freaks invited themselves."

"'Lame freaks'?" Sora asked. "You guys are lame yourselves!"

"Little kids fucking hate you!" Riku hissed. The two boys summoned out their respective Keyblades.

"Hey." Caillou called out. "At least my weapon isn't a fucking key."

"What kind of five year old owns a fucking rifle?" Tidus asked, drawing out his longsword.

"Someone who is a fucking casual who plays Call of Duty." Vaan said, drawing out his Mythrill sword.

"Caillou probably plays League of Legends like a fucking casual too." Aerith said, summoning her stave.

"Not everyone is a part of MLG, Aerith!" Cloud reminded her, taking out his Buster Sword.

"Enough of your 'gamer' shit." Squall hissed, taking out his gunblade. "Let's get this fight started."

"God damn it!" Shulk recalled, realizing he didn't have the Monado. He had to make a cool comeback and fast!

"Uh, at least I have hair!" Shulk then put his fingers through his thick blonde hair.

Caillou stepped back while everyone else went "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!" from Shulk's funny comeback. Before he could aim his rifle towards Shulk, he felt a warming tingle from his butt. The tingle became hot. Very hot.

"AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Caillou screamed, dropping his rifle and falling down on the floor. "MY ASSHOLE!"

"WAAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAA!" Shantotto laughed in excitement. "Your butthole is on fire!"

"Daaammmmnnnnnnn!" Cid and Dickson went. Everyone started laughing at Caillou's pain. Dora tried to keep her calm but decided she might as well shoot the ceiling to bring everyone's attention to her.

"STAWP!" Dora screeched. "Alright – now you've fucking done it!"

Quickly aiding Caillou from the floor, both she and the evil boy decided to start dancing the fucking weird GoAnimate dance to the song "Bodies" by Drowning Pool.

The repeating words of "Let The Bodies Hit The Floor" continued as Caillou and Dora magically summoned themselves to become a large person, which instantly broke the ceiling of Chuck E. Cheese's. The large person had their hair in a brown bob, wore a yellow super suit and had numerous arms.

 **"BEHOLD MEGA DORA-LIOU!"**

Dora-Liou, the fusion of Dora and Caillou screeched to the heroes who were now the size of ants from the fusion's perspective. The fusion stepped out of the restaurant, which caused the building to come crashing down. The heroes immediately ran out of the destroyed restaurant and headed towards the parking lot where Dora-Liou made their way towards the first store of the shopping center.

"Famous Footwear is LAME!" The fusion screeched, punching the entire shoe store into the ground.

"Noooooo!" Ness cried with his mother Mrs. Montague coming up to him and hugging him tight. "Not the Famous Footwear!"

The fusion headed towards the other major store of the shopping center.

"FUCK YOU TARGET!" Dora-Liou screeched, kicking the store numerous times before the Starbucks section of the store was revealed. Dora-Liou decided to crunch that Starbucks with their foot.

"AND FUCK STARBUCKS!" The fusion screeched, deciding to punch the parking lot, causing a huge hole to form underneath and eat up the parked vehicles and news reporters.

"God damn it Caillou!" Boris screamed. "Not Target and Starbucks!"

"SATAN FUCKING JUDAS!" Sephiroth whined, seeing the White Lexus getting sucked inside of the newly formed hole in the parking lot. "MY LEXUS!"

"I'll summon it back Seph!" Terra promised. "We need to focus on this abomination of a Steven Universe fusion thingie!"

"Where's its weak point?" Link asked, handling his Master Sword as he dashed to the fusion, who was already stomping the local Wendy's.

"GOD DANG IT!" Noctis screeched. "WENDY'S! THAT IS IT!"

Noctis ran towards Dora-Liou and used a Warp-Strike to latch himself on a nearby telephone pole and to try to land on the head of the fusion to knock them out. Unfortunately, Noctis ended up landing on the shoulder of Dora-Liou. The prince kept his balance despite the fact he was over fifty feet from the ground.

"Oh shit." Noctis whimpered to himself. "I'm holding on and stabbing them anyway." Noctis got out his silver royal sword and stabbed it into the neck of Dora-Liou, which made the fusion stumble and land themselves on top of Barnes and Noble, crushing the entire store. Noctis lifted himself out of the rubble before being escorted by several medics standing near the book store.

"NOOOO!" Lucina and Shantotto screamed, seeing their favorite store being destroyed and Noctis being injured. "BARNES AND NOBLE!"

"Oh fuck!" Barret cried. "Noctis!"

"I'm going to the hospital with him." Vinnie the Villager stated to Barret. "You guys keep fighting him!"

"Okay!" Barret allowed. "You two be careful!

The Villager ran off to join the medics and assist Noctis to the hospital. Meanwhile, Lucina and Shantotto, wanting revenge, decided to conduct an ultimate fire magic move towards Dora-Liou.

With their weapons, they shot out a large orb of fire towards the back of the fusion. Dora-Liou, however, picked themselves up from their fall and came back up to destroy yet another retail store.

"Mamma Mia!" Mario cried, keeping his pace with the fusion. "They're heading towards Dick's Sporting Goods."

"Ha ha ha!" Tidus laughed. "Dick!"

"Shut the fuck up Tidus!" Squall complained.

"Whatever. You love dick!" Tidus called out to Squall, who made mental note to kick his ass when they got home.

Dora-Liou reached Dick's Sporting Goods and got to destroy the outdoor shop with all of its might. Then they saw the Pinkberry frozen yogurt place and wrecked it. Cost Plus World Market was crushed to the ground along with the Ulta Beauty Store.

"NOOOO! NOT ULTA!" Lightning, Serah, and Aerith screamed together, then reaching their Limit Breaks and attacking Dora-Liou at their knees.

"I'm pissed because our only Pinkberry is gone!" Dark Pit growled, doing his best to shoot his dark arrows to Dora-Liou who kept moving.

"And World Market!" Pit panicked. "Lana's not going to be happy when she gets back from Manhattan." World Market after all sold lots of snacks from Japan and Lana loved the store with all of her heart.

Pit then shot his arrows towards the neck of the fusion, which Dora-Liou felt and crashed down on top of Texas Roadhouse. He smiled, knowing his love for Lana and his passion for making her happy, would be the key to destroying the fusion.

"Pit?" Palutena telepathically said to the angel. "Pit? Pittoo? Where are you guys?!"

"We're at the Smashville shopping center." Dark Pit telepathically told to the Goddess.

"Oh my god!" Palutena yelped. "Are you boys okay?"

"We're fine Lady Palutena!" Pit ensured the goddess. "We got the main enemy down!"

"I see." Palutena stated. "I'm summoning myself to see you and the others."

"And I'm heading down there myself." Another voice was heard.

"Huh?" Pit asked. "Who is that?"

The voice giggled, which was heard by everyone else.

"Cosmos!" Terra yelped.

"Yes, it's Cosmos." The Goddess revealed to the angels and to everyone else. "I'm coming down."

With the blink of an eye, the two goddesses appeared in front of the fighters. They all glanced at the destroyed shopping center and back at Dora-Liou, who deformed back into Dora and Caillou. The two kids were in extreme pain, groaning due to the excessive force they used to destroy the shopping center and being a fusion. However, they were going to be experiencing more verbal abuse as their parents came towards them, stumbling from the wooden debris and peanut shavings of the destroyed Texas Roadhouse. The video game characters backed away along with the news reporters as they witnessed Dora and Caillou receiving their punishments.

 **"CAILLOU! HOW DARE YOU TRAP INNOCENT PEOPLE AND VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS INSIDE OF CHUCK E. CHEESE'S! AND BECOME A FUSION WITH DORA THE EXPLORER AND DESTROY PUBLIC PROPERTY?!" Boris screamed to his son Caillou who started crying. "YOUR ACTIONS NOT ONLY KILLED PEOPLE BUT CAUSED THE WHOLE DAMN NATION TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID! I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO TURN YOU IN TO THE POLICE!"**

 **"DORA MARQUEZ!" Elena Marquez screamed to her daughter Dora who started crying. "YOU ARE A CRIMINAL! HOW DARE YOU CREATE A HOSTAGE SITUATION AND BECOME A FUSION WITH YOUR CRIMINAL BOYFRIEND AND DESTROY A WHOLE SHOPPING CENTER! YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE TO TURN YOU IN TO THE POLICE!"**

As the entire police interrogation of Dora and Caillou started, the Nintendo characters and the Square-Enix characters looked to each other in awkward silence.

"Uhh…" Cosmos looked to her gold watch, then to the warriors and the Nintendo gang. "I think McDonald's is open right now!"

"SWEET!" Everyone cheered, jumping for joy.

 **Their 1980s Freeze-Frame marks the end of this cringe-worthy fanfiction.**

 **NOT.**


	12. Epilogue

**––––Epilogue––––**

"Damn." Cia said loud, stepping out of the car with her sister Lana, who she immediately looked at. "You weren't fucking kidding when you said it was like an actual _The Onion_ article!"

"That's because _it isn't!_ " Lana pointed out to Cia.

The Smashville shopping center was in ruin, looking as if the Apocalypse had happened without Cia or Lana knowing. Broken signs, cracked windows, concrete debris, and glass shards were scattered throughout the parking lot, being the rubble from the numerous retail shops which were all closed due to the excessive damage thanks to Caillou and Dora's Fusion and the attacks the Nintendo and Square-Enix cast made towards them. The large hole in the parking lot had deepened thanks to the final attack made during the early hours of Sunday morning. The ground hole will likely be filled on Monday whenever the emergency construction units come in and repair the retail stores, which the Mayor announced today on the news. Cia remained shocked by how the hell the town fell apart in just a day. And why the hell Caillou had to start more trouble whenever they were gone.

"And to think we decided to go on vacation!" Cia told to Lana.

"It's better than being trapped by a child from some dumb PBS Kids show." Lana pointed out. "Our weekend was fun!"

"Good point!" Cia agreed. "This weekend was fun!"

Before Lana could look back to her sister, she immediately noticed Lightning and Serah coming up to them.

"Hey!" Lana waved to Lightning and Serah. "I haven't seen you two in forever!"

"Hi Lana and Cia!" Serah greeted.

"Hey." Lightning greeted the two girls, then looking back to Serah. "You know, I still can't believe this all happened overnight."

"And we were part of it." Serah added. "All because of Caillou trapping Cloud and his new friends. I swear, that kid deserves to be in prison forever, ever, and ever!"

"Whoa!" Cia said in shock, looking to Lightning and Serah. "You guys had to defeat the little shit?!"

"Yep." Serah admitted.

"Cloud ended up having to babysit the kids and the next thing you know, Caillou got a hold of them!" Lighting told to the dark mage. "So they were all trapped until he called us and we ended up being trapped too. Thank god Serah was watching CNN or else we would have been toast."

"Or free." Serah told her sister. "Caillou's trap was pretty shitty. He didn't even lock the front entrance."

"That is quite shitty." Lana laughed.

The girls laughed, all satisfied that Caillou never had a chance to kick anyone's ass anyways. As they kept laughing, Mewtwo came up to them.

"Well, well, well." Mewtwo commented.

"If it isn't Fatass, Weeaboo, Feminist No. 1, and Feminist No. 2!" Mewtwo taunted to the girls with their obvious nicknames; Cia being the Fatass, Lana the Weeaboo, and the Farron sisters being the two Feminists.

"Oh shut the fuck up!" Cia hissed to the douchebag Pokemon.

"You are fucking rude." Lana hissed too.

"Hey, I'm no Feminist! I'm a fucking fashion model!" Lightning elaborated on the taunt, mentioning her new job as a Louis Vuitton fashion model to the Pokemon.

"THAT DOES IT!" Serah screamed, taking out her Bow-Sword, leaping, and aiming it towards Mewtwo's head.

The girls tried to get her to stop by jumping, making a freeze-frame and finally ending this crack of a fanfiction.

 **-"Don't You (Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds begins playing, starting a montage of where the characters end up after this lame fanfiction-**

 **Shulk Soss and the Monado are reunited once again after repairs for the sword were complete. Riku and Tatsu were GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED by Melia and Lynlee respectively for being dumbass Nopons.**

 **Cloud Strife no longer eats pizza and the kids of the Nintendo Mansion never ask anything from him ever again.**

 **Ness Montague and Lucas both realize Peter Piper Pizza is better and insist they go there every Saturday night.**

 **Vinnie the Villager and Kirby, however, prefer Cici's Pizza: All You Can Eat For Only $3.95!**

 **Master Hand and Crazy Hand have banned pizza from the mansion's cafeteria; chaos ensued in the mansion.**

 **Cosmos the Goddess of Harmony and Chaos the God of Discord ended up having all-nighters from the crazy weekend and decided to open a Starbucks inside of the Square-Enix manor in case such all-nighters happen again.**

 **Elma got the guts to ask Irina out thanks to Lucina and Lightning's advice. Irina said yes to being her bae! Love wins!**

 **Lucina became best friends with Lightning (Claire Farron) and the two now participate in Feminist protests in New York City and enjoy reading hit teen novels together.**

 **Mario Mario decided to cook homemade Italian food after this scary event. Mamma Mia!**

 **The New Legend of Zelda game for Wii U is a major hit for Nintendo! Link couldn't be anymore happier since he's rolling in the dosh! His new attire is aesthetically pleasing to new friends and Princess Zelda!**

 **Dark Pit and Pit love Dave & Busters' now! Lady Palutena prefers it too! Icarus never showed up…**

 **Barret Wallace vows never to take Marlene to Chuck E. Cheese's ever again. Marlene's cool with that though. She just found out about American Girl dolls.**

 **Sora, Riku, Tidus, and Squall Leonhart were GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED by Terra Branford, thanks to finding candy wrappers and a Chuck E. Cheese Costume in the basement of the Square-Enix mansion.**

 **Noctis Lucis Caelum had a quick recovery from his injuries during the fusion battle and left the hospital within a few days. Prompto Argentum, his best friend, borrows his crutches. Final Fantasy XV is coming out this year!**

 **Sephiroth is hoping to have revenge on Pit, who still thinks he's a girl. However, he still dreams about Link in that blue Wii U attire. He's in love!**

 **Lightning (Claire Farron) is an acclaimed Louis Vuitton fashion model now and says that she will back. Fans are still acting like babies by the way.**

 **Dickson Soss and Cid are now best friends with each other and are always hanging out at either the Square-Enix or Nintendo garage.**

 **Ness's Mom, Mrs. Montague, received a bonus at work! She is very satisfied by her bizarre news report. She has sent an application to work at CNN.**

 **Vaan thought it would be hilarious to show Shantotto the 2015 film Straight Outta Compton. Boy does the adorable dark mage love it! She now raps 24/7!**

 **Aerith Gainsborough is really impressed by gem fusion because of Caillou and Dora's special attack. She has now been pleading the others at both of the mansions to test it out.**

 **Serah Farron beat the shit out of Mewtwo and ends up being GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED by Cosmos and Chaos for being violent.**

 **Mewtwo still acts like a dick and currently is a Physics teacher at Harvard.**

 **Cia and Lana, the Lancia sisters, are debating which store is going to open up first in the newly reconstructed shopping center. Lana calls World Market while Cia calls for Texas Roadhouse.**

 **Caillou and Dora the Explorer were both arrested and are to serve eight years in juvenile detention, locked away in their own small cells. Their parents are also being sent in for questioning and for their 'affluenza claims' that have ruined their children.**

 **The author is going back to focusing on school and writing more fanfiction.**

 **THE END.**


End file.
